Muggle Studies Mayhem
by Grassy Leaves
Summary: Lily and James are in their 6th year in the last quarter. Their last Muggle Studies project is to film a video about one of them and post it on Youtube. James is chosen to become the star of the video and how will Sirius get him back? R&R!


**Miss Maraudette presents to you: Muggle Studies Mayhem -- A Lily and James fic**

**Summary: Lily and James are in their 6****th**** year in the last quarter. Their last Muggle Studies project is to film a video about one of them and post it on Youtube. While Lily and James are taking a break, James starts a dating contest with a Ravenclaw named Greg. Will the marauders get any reviews? R&R! (Oneshot)**

**I've waited so long to write this and finally I can! Ignore the fact that they didn't have much Internet back then or Youtube. That's why it's called **_**Fanfiction.**_** I estimated that this would be 6 chapters, but the chapters were too short, so I decided to make it a long, oneshot. Enjoy!**

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"Welcome to Muggle Studies! I am Professor…"

I was in Muggle Studies. Again. Why had I taken this stupid class again? Oh right. Lily was in it. My friends were in it.

"Now we are in the fourth quarter, where a we will begin a project that students love!" The class groaned. I groaned, a long, droning groan.

"Most of you know about video taps. Funny little things…"

"Sir?" Lily raised her hand.

"They always seem to shut off and…"

"Sir?"

"… freeze at the exact… oh, yes Lily?"

"They're called video _tapes_."

"Of course! Didn't I say that?"

"Er…"

"So, this is a group effort. You will split yourselves into groups and I shall give you instructions," the professor began the instructions, "I will hand out two video taps per group and…"

"Sir?"

"Again, Lily?"

"You haven't let us make groups yet."

"Oh! Excuse me, I thought… never mind. Go ahead!" The professor waved his long wand and the desks flew to the side of the classroom. Four flags appeared out of the floor with 4 different colors.

I found Sirius, Remus and Peter and we sat in a circle. We were sitting at the green flag in criss-cross-applesauce formation.

Lily was sitting across the room near the red flag with her four friends. She, Marlene, Emmeline and Alice were all sitting together waiting for the professor's instructions.

The two other groups consisted of the rest of the class. Each was a group of five, and they were at the blue and yellow flags.

"Now that you all have split into flags, I mean groups, I will explain your task." The professor began. The class laughed a bit at his mistake. "This is a teamwork event. You will compete with your teams to file a video…"

"Sir?"

"Lily?"

"You said file, I think you meant _film_?"

"Oh yes. You will _film_ a video with a camrecorder, er… I mean camera," the professor saw Lily's hand shoot into the air again, "and post it on a website collection called You… tube."

The class laughed a bit at the professor's pronunciation. _Yoo-toobe__._

"We have just finished our unit on the _Internet_ and will begin our next unit on videotapping… er… taping."

"5 knuts he'll never get the word right…" Sirius whispered in my ear.

"So, as a group you will make a videotap…"

"He's a lost cause," Remus muttered.

"…about one of the people in your group. It has to be creative, and unique and show your person's character."

My confused look turned into a wide grin. Sirius' smile was identical to mine.

"The rest of class time will be used to start planning. Begin!"

Remus conjured up a piece of parchment and a quill. He threw some ideas out there and we all liked the idea of a talkshow about the person. You know, cheesy stuff. We hadn't thought more about it until Remus asked a question we were all wondering…

"So, on a more important note, who wants to be the person we do our video about?" Remus asked. Sirius and I both raised our hands at the same time. When Peter saw our hands raised his smile turned into a sad face.

"Let's find out… Dragon style!" Sirius challenged me. "Chinese, Welsh, Horntail… Shoot!"

I did the Horntail and Sirius did Welsh Green.

"I win," I said.

"Darnnit. Two out of three?"

"You have to say so before," I stuck my tongue out at him. Remus rolled his eyes.

I looked over at Lily's group. They seemed to be well organized and had begun writing an outline. I think their video was about Marlene, that or Alice. Or Emmeline. I knew it wasn't Lily because she was never self-centered. She would let one of her friends be the star of the video.

_Sirius_

As soon as James did the Horntail I knew that I needed to get him back. The question was how… That's it! I'll do the five question words to figure out what I'll do.

How... That's easy! I'll play a trick on him.

Now for what… I'll skip that one.

Where… I don't know! I'll figure that out with "What".

Why… I know that already. He beat me. No one beats Sirius and gets away with it.

When… I think that goes with "What" and "Where".

This could be harder than I thought… I'll think of something later.

_James_

When I heard there was a case of a cold/fever sickness was going around I hoped I wouldn't get it. Well, that's how I heard about it in the first place. I went with Lily and the rest of the Marauders to check on her friends. Yup. Marlene, Emmeline and Alice all caught the cold. On the way back Lily remembered about the teams.

"Oh no!" she clapped her hand to her mouth. "My whole team is sick except me!"

"Ask the Professor if you could join our group," Sirius suggested. Remus eyed him a bit suspiciously.

"I guess it's the only thing I could do." Lily laughed, "I couldn't do a whole video about _me_, by _me_, starring _me_, filmed by _me_. That would be too much work for _me_ to do."

Later during lunch she told us that the professor had "Okayed" the decision.

"So what are you guys doing?" she asked.

"A talkshow," Peter answered.

"A talk… show? How is that going to work?" she raised an eyebrow.

"We haven't worked out those details yet." Remus replied.

"Who's the video about?"

"Me." I smiled proudly.

"_Him_." Sirius rolled his eyes. "He beat me in Chinese, Welsh, Horntail."

"Ah."

"So let's get started!" Remus called. "Set, camera, action!"

"Welcome to The Today's Show, I'm Lily and I have a guest with us today, do you want to introduce yourself?"

"Sure. I'm James." James flashed a toothy smile to the camera.

"Would you like to tell us a bit about yourself?"

"I love qui… sports." He flashed another pearly white smile.

"Thank goodness he remembered Muggles don't know about quidditch. Plus this will be on Youtube!" Remus thought.

"Maybe some traits about yourself?"

"I'm strong," he flexed a muscle. "I'm fast, and I'm not a coward. I take orders from no one and I lead myself to victory every time!"

"Okay…"

"Cut!" Remus called.

"Wow," Sirius thought. That was… pretty good! It got James' character across and it shows who he really is.

The rest of Saturday was spent doing more filming. They had skipped breakfast and had spent lunch watching the tape so far.

Lily watched the tape and thought, "Well, I can kiss my Outstanding for this quarter goodbye."

James had gone down to dinner and had promised to bring them something from the table.

"Well, James looks pretty happy with it." Remus yawned rubbing his eyes.

"Well, I think it's lousy, lazy and has no character in it whatsoever." Lily stated.

"I think we need to get back James for this." Sirius exclaimed.

Lily and Remus stared at Sirius. "You're kidding, right?" Remus asked.

"No! I think we should play a trick on him. We should…" he whispered to Lily and Remus.

"Now I like that idea," Lily lay back on the couch pillows. "Congratulations to a well thought of plan to Sirius!"

"I don't know…" Remus began flattening his brown hair.

"It'll be fun!" Peter squeaked up. "Can I wear a mustache?"

"Sure Peter," Remus rolled his eyes.

"So Peter can be the granny…" Sirius began.

"Naaah. We've got Lily remember?"

"Oh right. Lily will be granny. I'll be the Head Cameraman, Remus can be my assistant and Peter can the Mich. Boy!"

"Fine."

"Do I get a mustache?"

"I said 'Sure' Peter."

"Anyone hungry?" James called. "I've got chicken!"

"Pass it over Prongs!" Sirius replied.

"So, about the trip to Hogsmede," Remus began, "Lily you can come too," he nodded to her, "Where are we going?"

"Can't go with you guys," James shook his head, "Date."

Lily rolled her eyes. She and James were taking some time off and Lily had told him she didn't care if he had any dates.

"I'm still trying to beat Greg's record. You know that Ravenclaw in our year?"

Remus joined Lily in the eye rolling.

"Ooh! I heard Mary in 5th year Ravenclaw turned him down!" Sirius' smile widened at the gossip.

"Really?" James' eyes widened, "Then maybe I can catch up after all. You know… all those dates with Lily… no offense or anything," he put his hands up, "I need to retain my repertoire."

"I _told_ you," Lily repeated, "I don't care."

"Great!"

James left to go brag to Greg about his new date.

"Didn't you hear?" Lily asked.

"What? Oh that! I know! I totally thought Mary would go for him!" Sirius exclaimed.

"No not that," Lily sighed, "James isn't coming with us tomorrow. We could buy costumes to disguise ourselves!"

"Great idea!" Remus caught onto Lily's plan.

_Sirius_

This plan was perfect. That night when James was gone gossiping Remus and Lily had changed parts of it so now it was really perfect. Remus, Lily, Peter and I would become an old lady, and her cameramen and chase James a bit. We would just scare him into a 'scared James' order him around a bit and then edit that part into the "talkshow" and show the contrast.

It was a perfect plan.

The bad part was, we weren't allowed to use magic so Lily and Remus had told me their thoughts of buying costumes in Hogsmede.

Now we were in Hogsmede leaving James at Madam Puddifoot's Café with Mia, a Hufflepuff in our year.

We stopped into a costume shop called Gladrags Wizardwear. A small witch helped us find appropriate costumes for each of our characters.

Lily picked out an old (on clearance) rag of a dress that came with a baggy necklace and a matching pair of earrings.

Remus, Peter and I found simple but nice black pants and got mint green collared shirts and black vests. Lily and Remus used a spell to write Head Cameraman, Cameraman and Mich. Boy on them in fancy letters.

Lily then bought a brown face paint crayon to draw wrinkles in her face and a gray spray-paint to put in her bright orange hair. She sprayed a bit on her front bangs and it looked very "old lady".

"Do you think this is good?" Lily asked showing us the dress.

"You might want to get that tailored," Remus answered. "The ends of the dress look a bit… raggedy." I saw what he was talking about. The dress was gray, but a nice gray, yet very bland and… what's the word? Ripple-y. It had a lot of bunches, and looked very old. It was a short sleeve dress and it had an ugly, ripping fringe on the end.

After we bought the costumes (20 galleons – it was on sale!) Lily used her wand to burn the fringe off.

We stopped off at the bathrooms and changed into our costumes. When Lily came out she looked very… old. Her flaming hair was nearly completely gray. Yuck, Lily with gray hair… bad image. Did I mention she used the brown wrinkle crayon also? She had a lot of wrinkles.

I had brought the two cameras we had in a backpack and gave them to Moony. Wormtail had a little microphone that we would hook up the cameras later.

We listened to James and Mia's conversation and I checked to see that Lily wasn't getting angry and so far she wasn't. You've got to admire that girl. Finally, our chance came, Mia needed to go to the bathroom. After she left Lily stepped out from behind the bush and Remus and I started the cameras.

"It is warm today isn't it?" Lily said with her nose in the air.

"Yes ma'am," Remus added to the effect.

"I sure would like to take a seat in this warm weather, I think I will faint!" Lily brought her hand to her forehead. I handed my camera to Peter knowing my queue.

I tried to walk expectantly to the outside table James was sitting at.

"Hey, boy!" I tapped him on the shoulder, "Didn't you hear the lady? She needs a seat!"

"Then you have to wait at the li…" He stopped seeing Remus and Peter's cameras.

"The _lady_ needs a seat!" I walked towards him sitting in the chair. "Come on you rascal, get up and give her a seat."

"Er… Sure." James stared at me.

Lily saw that James was looking suspicious. Knowing that she didn't look anything like herself she pushed me out of the way, "Is that any way to speak to a man?"

"I mean; yes sir." James was scared now. He saw me coming for him. He stood up, let Lily sit down and started to back away. Lily took a drink of the water and when she was sure he was gone she started cracking up.

Remus joined her and we all started laughing.

"Let's get out of here so when he comes back he'll think he's crazy," Remus suggested.

"Good idea," Lily replied. We all hid behind the bush.

I took my camera back from Peter and started it again when James came back. He scratched his head a bit and sat down. Mia returned and the date resumed.

I thought it was enough film for one day, but Lily wanted to keep going. I could sense some jealousy when she saw Mia.

After the lunch date, James took Mia walking near the pond. It was gorgeous out and he and Mia were laughing and talking. James sat down right under a flowering tree and he and Mia talked a bit more.

Mia scooted closer to James and he put his arm around her. The wind started up and the tree dropped a flower on Mia's head.

"Okay that was the last straw," Lily growled. "I'm stopping that date before he does anything else."

"I think we're starting again Sirius," Remus saw Lily get up.

She started acting like an old lady and was walking towards them and exclaimed, "Oh, I tripped!" she started falling towards the couple just as they leaned in and…

"What the…" James looked around for the person who had bumped into him.

"Hey, I remember you…" Lily began in her best "old lady" voice. "You're that boy from the restaurant!"

"Mia, let's get out of here," James was eying Lily strangely. "I just remembered something I have to do."

"Okay Jamsie," Mia smiled. "So I'll see you next Sunday?"

"Uh… no. No, next week is vacation," James had his eyes on Lily who was dusting herself off from her "fall".

"So the Sunday after that?" Mia asked.

"Yeah… See you."

He and Mia parted ways and Lily smiled with satisfaction. She rubbed her hands together.

"That was satisfying." She smiled watching James run away from the "creepy, old lady".

"You know what?" Remus asked.

"What?" I answered.

"If James thinks he's going crazy, he's not going to tell anyone, so if he tells us about this… "

Lily was still smiling at James in the distance.

Vacation was going great. I had escaped my parents and family reunion again and had joined James, Lily, Peter and Remus at James' house. Lily's friends were still sick. Poor Marlene.

Anyway, Lily brought our costume supplies in a ring case (who knows how she did that, probably shrunk them) just in case there was a good chance to get some film.

Later that day, after breakfast we found our chance. James had gone upstairs to get something and we quickly changed into our costumes.

Lily put on some of Ms. Potter's high heels and walked up the stairs. She knocked three times.

James was horrified when he saw Lily and me and the others. He sat down on his bed backing up into the pillows. "How… how did you find me?"

"Oh… I'm a good friend of your dear mother's." Lily answered simply.

"How come I've never seen you before?"

"I've been away for a while, so I couldn't come to any of your parent's lovely parties!"

"Now, I am feeling a bit bored," she waved her hand to Sirius, "Entertain me."

James rolled his eyes.

I liked my big, bully effect on James so I continued it. I started to stomp up to James. "Apologize."

"What?"

"You heard me, apologize."

"For what?" he asked again seeing the camera again.

"For rollin' your eyes at the lady," I tried to sound tough. It wasn't that hard, considering it's me.

"For… what? I… what?"

I heard three knocks at the door. "James?" his mother called.

"I'm fine mum!" he called back. Lily opened the door before she could come in. She slipped out the door to "explain". I heard the sounds of two pairs of high heels down the stairs.

"Apologize," I demanded.

"But I didn't…"

"Apologize," I growled.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I… I'm sorry for _rolling my eyes_."

"Good. Let's get a move on. The lady has left the room." Aren't I such a great actor?

"Come on Remus move over!"

Vacation was great, and we got loads of film to edit in. The comparison of "the interview" and "the granny" was coming along fabulous. Only one small problem. Editing takes a while, and we couldn't just all stay there and edit while leaving poor Jamsie all alone!

Lily's been in a bad mood lately. Short tempered, or choppy, you know, just all in all mad. James has been having two or three dates a week and hasn't asked to be back with her yet.

"Remus! Move over!" Lily demanded.

"Okay, okay… I was just finishing my section up." Remus held his hands up.

We had split the video into sections so that if we got a certain amount of editing done, we would be able to pass it in early.

We'd also split the different sections for different people. Mainly Lily and Remus. I tried editing, but Sirius and editing are just two words that don't go together. Like cat and dog. Yikes.

Lily let out a long sigh followed by an, "ARGH!" I think I could learn a few things from her for my "Head Cameraman" character. Oh right. We finished filming.

James popped his head in. "Hey are you guys done editing yet?"

I stepped in with Peter following me, taking James outside away from the room. "They're nearly done. They both yelled at me when I tried to help, but you know, me editing, it just doesn't work. Hey are you any good at editing?"

"I might be if they'd let me try," he jerked his head over towards the door.

"You know, they've both been a bit short tempered lately. Exams, you know?"

"Yeah, but I don't see why I couldn't even see what they've done."

"Look, they won't even let me see it yet." I lied. I had spent the whole night playing the video over and over and over and over and over laughing at James. Don't get me wrong, he's my best bud, but how often do you get to see your best bud cower, terrified of an old woman.

"How's that contest with Greg going?" I tried changing the subject.

"You know what?" he sighed, "I don't know if this is right. Maybe I should just tell him he's won. What I mean is, it feels so wrong without Lily."

"So you're just going to give up?" This was not Prongs' behavior.

"Yeah."

"And let _Greg_ win?"

"Yeah."

"You can't do that! You've got to get out there, show everyone the Potter charm and show him you aren't a loser!"

Apparently, James was inspired by this "Sirius tactic".

"I'm gonna go get him so bad he'll come crying to me asking for forfeit!" James was back.

Uh oh. Lily's gonna hate me! She'll chop my head off. There goes my head.

"Uh… wait right here. I'll be right back. You know," I winked, "If I leave Remus and Lily together they'll eat each other. I slipped away back into our editing room.

"Sirius," Remus whispered. "I've put a spell on the computer so that when people get near it they forget what they were doing and do something else. Of course, James knows I did, because I told him so that we could keep the movie a secret and he was there when I did it so it doesn't affect him. So I need you to slip him this." He handed me a hard candy. "I picked it up at Zonko's. It'll make him go to sleep when we pass it in right now. Go! Quick! It takes 15 minutes to start and we'll be done by then!"

Remus pushed me out of the tiny room and back to James.

"Here it is!" I fumbled around in my pocket where Remus had placed the candy. "A good luck hard candy!"

James took the candy eyeing it suspiciously, "Why did Remus shove you out of the editing room?"

"I told you earlier. He won't let me see the movie. He won't even let me go in there."

James popped the candy in his mouth and started sucking on it.

"You know," I started, "You look a bit tired. Maybe you should go take a nap and you'll be all rested when you beat Greg."

"Yeah. Thanks Padfoot," he called climbing the stairs, "I'll go do that!"

"Success!" I said to myself. A first year was staring at me and I howled, "What are you looking at?!"

_Lily_

After Remus and I finished the video I took a nice, long nap. I felt much better and energetic and excited even. After our naps (Remus took one too) Remus and I were going to hand in the video. James was still out. Sirius had checked.

Remus came out of the large closet we had cleaned and used as our editing room. It was big enough for a desk, a small laptop and four chairs. That was it. Peter usually watched Remus and I edit hoping to get one of the candies Remus gave to Sirius. I joked that he should just give him one.

Remus handed me the tape of the movie and we walked out of the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey, Lily!" Greg pulled me over to the side.

"You go ahead Remus and hand it in," I called to Remus.

"Lily, I wanted to talk to you." Greg said.

"About what?" I wondered why James' archenemy would want to talk to me, James' pretty much girlfriend.

"I heard you and James had broken up so I thought that you might want to…"

"James and I are not broken up," I replied.

Greg's eyes widened, "So he's cheating on you?"

"No, we're just taking a break." It felt good to rain on his parade. _So he can beat you in this stupid contest,_ I added to myself.

"So, since you're taking a break… would you like to come to Hogsmede with me?" he added casually.

"No."

"What?"

"No."

"Why?" He looked genuinely surprised.

"Just because James and I are taking a break and he's dating other people, doesn't mean I have to."

"Okay… I just thought… You can't blame me for…" he stopped this pointless conversation and started to walk down the hallway.

"Lily!"

"Alice! What are you doing out of the hospital wing?" I saw Alice's eyes light up seeing me in weeks.

"I'm feeling better, so Madam Pomfrey is letting me take a walk around." Alice's "cold" had turned out to be much worse and she had stayed in the hospital wing for a long time.

"Why was Greg trying to ask you out?"

"You heard that?"

"No, it's just… he stands like that when he asks girls out. I've seen," she scoffed.

"I have something hilarious to show you when you're better." I tried to change the subject.

"Great. Why was Greg talking to you? I didn't catch your answer."

"Er… James and I are taking a break so he can beat Greg in a _stupid_ contest and Greg wanted to blow a big hit on James by dating me."

"Wow. You know, I think Madam Pomfrey will want me back soon. I was looking for you all over!"

"Sorry!" I started back to the common room. _James is so going to get it when he wakes up from that candy_. I thought, thinking about the video and chuckling to myself.

The next day was when the Professor showed our video with a projector. Remus had added a nice affect by making the "talkshow" in black and white. The whole class laughed when I "fell" down the hill and when James scratched his head.

James on the other hand wasn't laughing. He was horrified. When we got back to the common room I knew he would hide in his bed covers.

The last scene had me, Sirius, Remus and Peter standing in a line and one by one taking our make up off using magic.

"Darnnit!" Remus whispered in my ear, "We're not supposed to use magic!"

"Shoot!" I whispered back, "Oh well."

When the movie ended the professor told us, "Nice work" and showed some other videos.

Muggle Studies was our last class, so James went straight to the common room and hid underneath the couch.

"Jamsie!" James' latest date, a Gryffindor in our year came in, "I saw the video Jamserkins, and I see how brave you really are. You must be brave to let your friends do that to you." She gave James a big kiss on the cheek.

Okay, now I was mad. I thought that seeing James' expression after the video would be enough for me to get him back. But this was too much. Before I could stop myself, I stepped out of the common room and found Greg. He looked a bit confused that I was talking to him and I said plainly, "Hey, about that Hogsmede offer…"

He smiled and put his arm around me, "I'd love to."

"What did I just do?" I asked myself. "I'm getting back James," my conscience replied.

The day at Hogsmede started out fine, except for a scolding from Remus and Sirius.

"I know what I'm doing," I told them for the umpteenth time. "If James can date other people, so can I."

"Alright," Remus backed off shaking his head, "it's your decision."

Greg's a nice person, I guess. I just didn't like that he was trying to use me.

"So Lily," he asked. "Is next week good?"

"Um, I don't know my schedule, but I'm sure I can figure out something."

We were down at the pond on the opposite side where I had "fallen" to stop James from kissing Mia. I could see him on the other side of the pond, with another girl. Apparently, he saw us too. This was perfect.

He strode over to us, girlfriend in tow, and glared at Greg.

"What are you doing with Lily?" he asked.

"We're on a date," Greg smugly answered.

"Lily! I thought that you and I…"

"You and her!" James' date, Ellie screamed. "You told me you were broken up! Well, if that's who you are, then this date is over!"

Greg smugly watched as James saw her storm away. "Lost your date, eh Potter?"

"No thanks you to you, Brown. Lily?"

I helplessly looked away. "What?"

"What are you doing with him?

"You were dating other people. We never agreed I couldn't," I answered.

Greg laughed, "Lily-rose, don't spend your time with Potter, he's not worth it."

"Lily?" James looked at me pleadingly.

"Lily?" Greg asked expectantly.

_Hm. Should I milk this a bit more and make him more sorry, or take him back now?_ _Aww, look at his face. He's asking me to come back. Well… I've never been able to resist that face._

"Oh, James I thought you'd never come back," I ran over to him from Greg's side and hugged him.

"Merlin, Lily," James replied, "I was only doing it to beat _him_." He jerked his head to Greg who was watching unbelievingly.

"Awww… very cute, very cute… but Lily you can cut the act now. We've been on three dates now. Aren't you coming back?"

I raised an eyebrow at Greg. He really thought I was going to come back to him after I had just hugged James. "No." _Really?_

"Fine. Have it your way." He took out his wand and James pulled out his.

"Jamsie!" Padfoot came running into the scene. "Jamsie! Guess what?"

"Kind of busy here, Padfoot," James answered pointing his wand at Greg.

"Oh. I can fix that." Sirius pulled out his wand, stunned Greg and pulled James by the arm to the common room.

"What do you want?" James asked.

"Remus posted it on Youtube and we got a review!" Sirius was jumping up and down.

"Oh no…" James breathed disbelievingly.

"Look!" Sirius pointed to the computer.

(OMG! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!! That iz soooo funny!11!!11!!111!)

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**So this has come to the end of a long tale… Okay I'll cut it short. Long, I know 17 pages on Word, but it's worth it no? Review and Padfoot will be happy! Well, more like Review and make me happy! I'm hoping to get some reviews here peoples!**

**Luv,**

**Miss Maraudette**


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